sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
