I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
