They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
