i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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