try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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