theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize