I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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