Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's official drugs can't kill me
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
