He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
