I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
