You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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