I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
