I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
