i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
