I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
