oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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