i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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