Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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