Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
