I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
