There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
