Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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