i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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