I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
