I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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