TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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