Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
