so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
