I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
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Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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