bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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