Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize