my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think people are normalizing furries
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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