Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
