I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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