on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
