guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
