Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
