You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There r osticjed everywhere
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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