Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If I die, sorry about rent.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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