just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My ass is underappreciated
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize