he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize