im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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