Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I won the penis lottery.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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