I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
