Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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