omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
