My first STD was from a foam party
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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