nut hugger
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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