i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
