Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
