Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
