im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
