Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
