She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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