yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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