He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
