It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
