did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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