ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
