I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
