im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
