how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
