I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
