I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
