so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
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Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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