it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
