i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
