hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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